Wednesday, October 5, 2016

essay 1 revised

After reading my colleague's work and sharing ideas, I realized I could improve my first essay by rereading my essay and finding grammar and punctuation mistakes and fix them all. I'm proud of the result. Hope you enjoy reading it!!!

There are many things that makes up happy, but what are the little things in life that always makes us happy a hug, food, or our friends and family? Or is it our pride for our country ? The feeling of getting a hug from the person that makes you happy feels great. I would choose personal relations over patriotism because it is  more important for humans to bond together as human beings. Personal relations is more important than patriotism in my opinion.


What is patriotism? Well when people hear patriotism they think it is about having pride in their country where they were born and raised. Also they need to be a big fan and know everything about what going on in their country. However not many people know the history of the United State or can even name all the previous president. For example  like me I can't even name them even though I'm in school and taking history. They just know what mostly everybody knows. For example they all know about the holidays like Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, and other holidays, but most people don't know why we celebrate them and how we have or got those holidays. If we went up to random person and ask them several questions about American history they wouldn't really know the answers to them.


The things that they have in common are they both have to do with love. Love for something that makes you happy and love for your country. Love can't be different but you can love differently however love will always be the same affection towards something. Yet though one is to get form as one with bonds and the other is to form everybody as a whole for the pride of the country. Both similar for bonding, but for different purpose.

In conclusion I agree with E.M. Forster's view that personal relations is more important than patriotism. There is more personal relations involve in our lives and not a lot of patriotism only once in awhile when something big happens.Your family and friends will always be there for you no matter what in good and bad times, however Patriotism is only there for you when you are good, but leave you in the bad times, because they don’t want to ruin their reputation. However patriotism is good to show the love for our country, but we can't always really grow it. Personal relations is more meaningful that we want to grow and bloom.

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